Creme-de-la-Krem

The Golden Mean

2010-04-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

This is what I have been thinking about lately. The golden mean is a concept from Aristotle where the most ethical decision is the most central one. If a group is trying to make a decision and they have opposing viewpoints, the golden mean is the central decision, or the compromise--the answer that will be best for everyone. Individuals can be ethical in one realm but if they go to an extreme in that realm, ignoring their other duties it becomes unethical.
The United States government was set up in conformity to the Golden Mean. Our Founding Fathers disagreed with one another about every point of government but they agreed on one thing: that conflict and compromise, however a lengthy process was the best way for a democracy to be run. The two-party system should work through conflict and compromise, and possibly slow progress to make decisions.
My only concern about the world today is that through the Internet and media, people can surround themselves with only others who agree with them, demonizing and definitely not listening to their opponents. Perhaps, I think, we actually need opposing viewpoints to maintain a civil society.
The concept of the Golden Mean also applies to personal realms, like marriages and relationships. Men and women are so very different from each other sometimes, that we can try to give the opposite sex what we think they need based on what we need, but it is not what they need. But yet, when we compromise, we are able to form a whole like yin and yang. My dad once told me (and I hope you don't mind my sharing this) that he and my mom have made their bed together every morning throughout their marriage. It represents to my dad how the tension of opposites, equally pulling, creates a good marriage.
The Golden Mean relates to a type of therapy I have been learning about in school called DBT, (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). Dialectics is the tension of opposites, and the ability to live with ambiguity. If someone has a hard time managing their emotions, like for instance, maybe they have a simultaneous desire to scream at everybody and hide under their beds. Neither option is a good idea, so DBT helps them to find the middle ground between two extremes.
Maybe this is why I have been thinking about this. Sometimes I have the urge to talk impulsively, and in order to not talk impulsively, I think I should not talk at all, but then I start to feel isolated and misunderstood, so I have to go back to talking impulsively. I am trying to learn how to share my thoughts non-impulsively, to wait before I say it, to think about it longer. It's hard to wait, but it is better because I can share my thoughts, but then I don't regret them.
The Golden Mean reminds me of the parachute game we did in elementary school gym. Everyone holds on to the parachute and then everyone lets go at once, and runs into the middle. The middle is the compromise--it is the Golden Mean.
"We dance around in a ring and suppose while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

The DSM IV

2010-02-26T00:06:00.000-08:00

OK, I am really nerdy, but I was very excited to take my Diagnostic class and get my very own glossy DSM IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). For the most part, I have heard of every psychological disorder in the book, and I have had a kind of database in the back of my head for the criteria for different mental disorders. It's been kind of like a hobby for me. I should have gone into counseling years ago, I guess.

I was telling my coworker about the DSM IV and he says it is like a spell book. I think it kind of is like that. You can know all of the psychological disorders but you have to have expertise to use it correctly and not cause damage. I am still like Harry Potter or the sorcerer's apprentice with the DSM, because I don't have the expertise to go around diagnosing personality disorders, pronouncing spells upon my enemies.

I think the DSM can be very powerful, especially with the changes between editions. For instance, in the DSM III, homosexuality was considered a mental illness and in the DSM IV, it is not. This shows that what our society considers normal vs abnormal changes, and what we decide is normal, can have vast implications for people.

It is debatable whether diagnosis helps or hinders. For instance, a diagnosis can be hurtful, labeling someone as "crazy" in ways that can impact that person's life. Maybe they will live up to the label. On the other hand, a diagnosis can be beneficial. If someone has been living with a problem for a long time, and has been blamed or called lazy or selfish or devious, when in reality it was a mental disorder, so diagnosis is a relief. A diagnosis can lead to proper treatment of distressing problems.

The Western model of mental health is medical. Psychological disorders are called "illnesses" using the same terminology as physical ailments. I tend to agree with the medical model of mental health which is probably why I am so excited about diagnosis.

I'm kind of bummed to see that the DSM V is coming out in 2012, the year I graduate, so I'll have to relearn everything, but it is interesting to see the changes they are coming out with. I, like the sorcerer's apprentice anticipate using the spell book with expertise, to help people without abusing its political and personal power.

Requiem W.A. Mozart

2009-10-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, so its not technically a book, but I want to review it because it's so inspiring.

I have decided to try operant conditioning to make my life better. I buy myself things I want but have no reason to buy as a reward for overcoming one of my flaws for a specified period of time (like a month, or 10 days in a row, etc.) I wanted to stop getting parking tickets (and late fees) so I decided if I could go a month without getting a parking ticket (its actually hard where I work) I would buy myself a CD. For reaching my goal during the month of September I bought myself Mozart's Requiem. I sang it in a choir a few years ago and I loved it.

A requiem is a Catholic mass for the dead, that has become its genre in choral music. A requiem follows the Latin lyrics under these titles:Requium, Kyrie, Sequentia, Offertorium, Sanctus, Benidictus, Agnus Dei, Communion, etc.

I like the Seqentia part, where the painful feelings about life, sin and death reach a catharsis. The music leads you into the very jaws of Hell, "Confutatis malidictis flammis acribus addictis..." (when the accursed have been confounded and given over to the bitter flames)

but then you are led to safety in arms of God, "Voca me cum benidictis....Gere curam mei finis." (Call me with the blessed...safeguard my fate.)

I also like the Agnus Dei "Agnus Dei, qui tolis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem" (Lamb of God who takest away the sins of the world, grant them rest.)

But even if you don't understand the words at all, the music is powerful enough to convey the message. The music is so beautiful when you are listening to it that for a moment you find yourself reaching for perfection, and touching perfection lightly with your fingertips.

The story of a requiem is one of facing the reality of death and sin, pleading with God for mercy, feeling the fears and pains of the world, looking to God, remembering God's promises to us, praising God, attaining the mercy of the Savior, and rejoicing that God has rescued us from death, sin, and fear.

When I listen to a new piece of music, I get really into it and listen to it over and over until it seeps into me. Because of some of the choral music I've sung, sometimes phrases come to my mind in Latin. Agnus Dei..Dona eis requiem.

A Change of Venue

2009-07-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

I've decided that this blog will be more about my experiences in graduate school and less about book reviews. I will try to keep it interesting anyway.
I am attending the University of Phoenix Masters of Mental Health Counseling program.
The last class I took was the portfolio class that is how they do the admissions process. If you pass the class you get into the program. It think having a portfolio class was a good idea because now that I have passed the class I have a lot more confidence in my ability to be a graduate student, and it also helped me to get a feel for how it works.
Before each week of class we have to read about 300 pages from the textbook and journal articles. It is so great, I love it. The material is so interesting and I am finally in a situation where I can share my thoughts about what I read without people getting bored or telling me to go away.
The class I'm taking is about family and human development. This week we learned about genetics, childbirth, infancy and attachment.
Teen girls who get pregnant often get pregnant not because they are unaware of the risks but because they are confused about attachment. They don't have the feeling of attachment with parents or other adults, so they look for it in boys. They get sexual attachment confused with parental attachment and look for it in the wrong places.
Infant development is on a continuum and there is a bell curve of normalcy. The average age for infants to start walking is one year old, but that is within a range of normalcy. I commented in class (because it was the best example) that my sister started walking at 9 months (or maybe 10) and I started walking at 15 months but that we are both within a normal range. I said that it was because we had different temperaments as babies. But then people in the class commented that maybe the difference was in birth order (which is probably true because I'm the youngest and I didn't have to walk because my siblings carried me all the time)
My professor said maybe your sister had a bigger cerebellum
My sister and I were both born in February. Maybe it was because my sister learned to walk in salt lake city and she could play outside in November. I learned to walk in Wisconsin. Winter is really cold there. Maybe I didn't walk until 15 months because I was too cold and wanted to wait until spring.
That's whats so interesting about psychology. You can study a common trend but within that trend each individual is different for many reasons. There are so many factors that make up an individual: nurture, and nature. And about free will, intelligence, resiliency, interventions, even things like nutrition, outside environment, medications, choices of other people, or public policy?People are so very cool.

in a different voice

2009-06-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

by Carol Gilligan.

When I got this book I was very enthusiastic about it because it had been cited in several other media I was interested in. It was cited in Eve and the Choice Made in Eden, which I also wrote about in my blog. They also discussed in a different voice on one of the episodes of the college courses they have on channel 9, Ethics and Values.

In this book, Gilligan revisited some studies about moral reasoning and development in children at the age of 11 and then age 15. In the study the children were asked the question called Heinz's dilemma where there is a man whose wife is sick needs a particular medicine or she will die. The medicine costs $2000.00 but Heinz has only has $1000.00. Should he steal the drug? The boys in the study usually answered either yes, he should steal the drug, or no he shouldn't steal it. The girls usually went around the question and came up with different solutions such as having fund raisers or lobbying the government etc. The girls thought about the relationship between the man and his wife. If he steals the drug and she doesn't die then if he goes to prison he will not be able to take care of her.

When the study was interpreted, the boys were seen as having higher moral reasoning than the girls because the answered the question posed: yes or no, and here's why. The girls appeared not to know what they thought because they didn't answer the question directly but went outside of the perameters.

Gilligan's reinterpretation of the study was that the girls had a different moral reasoning style than the boys. The boys think in more black and white moral terms, while the girls think in terms of relationships, negotiating what brings the greatest good to the most people.

Another study that Gilligan conducted involved asking the children questions about themselves, how they reason, and how they see themselves in the world. The boys' language was more hierarchical and autonomous and the girls' language reflected connectedness and relationships.
In another study the participant is to look at a picture and write the story they think it portrays. The men described the pictures with a person alone or in competition as positive and the pictures with connected people as violent and threatening. The women described the pictures with the person alone or in competition as violent and threatening, and the pictures with connected people as positive.

She concluded through these studies that men relate to the world in a hierarchical manner, while women relate to the world in an interconnected web-like manner.
I think in general this is true, however, I wanted to see this study done in a more scientific manne. She used mostly case studies to illustrate her point and I would have liked to see a larger sample size.

I loved the first three and the last two chapters of the book but I didn't like the middle as much because I am pro-life and she did studies what led women to come to the decision to have an abortion. A less controversial issue would have been a better way to prove the point about how women make important decisions. However, it seemed to me that, like the studies above, the women made decisions based upon relationships. The ones that decided to go through with the abortion had no support from their parents, boyfriends, or counselors to discuss their options. They felt cornered because of the relationships that had failed them. So I think a pro-life activist would get better results from treating abortion as a social problem rather than a moral failing, and offering these young women more support for them and their babies.

I am glad I read this book because of its insights about the difference between the moral reasoning and values of men and women.

I'm still here!

2009-06-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

I have not written in my blog for a long time because I have been busy trying to get into graduate school. I want to attend the University of Phoenix Mental Health Counseling program. The admissions process involves taking a 6-week portfolio course and if you pass the class they let you into the graduate program. In two more weeks I will know.

I have read a few interesting books lately. I re-read The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger institute because it was what I chose for my ward's book club, and I was the reviewer. I had a different perspective on it the second time because I am responsible for more people now because I teach Sunday school children and I want to be a therapist.

I was very eager to find the book, in a different voice by Carol Gilligan. It wasn't in the library! Why? It is such an important book! Anyway I had received a gift card for Christmas so I bought it at Barnes and Noble. I rarely buy books so it is a big deal. But since I own the book, I still haven't finished it. It is a book that revisits studies on human development that had previously focused on men and excluded or downplayed development of women. It points out the difference between men and women in development, moral reasoning, and decision-making processes. I want to study this further in school some day--maybe expand the study.

What else have I read? Hmm... I don't know.

Anyway, not to get all sentimental, since I haven't officially gotten into the program, but I am glad I have made the decision to read a book every week after I graduated from college. Let's see--that was 6 years ago when I graduated--times 52 weeks, that's more than 300 books. I just want to say that I was definitely not ready to go to graduate school back then, I think I am now. I hope, anyway. I'll keep you posted.

The third Chapter: Passion Risk and Adventure in the 25 Years After Fifty

2009-04-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

By Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot.

I became interested in this book because the author was interviewed on the Diane Ream Show on NPR. A lot of people called in and talked about all of the great things they were doing during their 3rd chapter of life.
By writing this book Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, wanted to dispel some of the misconceptions about the generation currently in their 3rd chapter. Perhaps we are thinking that the years between retirement and death should be spent quietly, and protected from stress, on the golf course, remembering the past. But she gives examples of people who learn new things, and achieve their life-long dreams after retirement.
Some learn new skills, such as art, music or business-- things they had always longed to do but didn't have the opportunity or the patience until their later years. Others leave careers to become activists for causes they had always believed in, or perfect the abilities they were unable to improve before.
Unfortunately, only those lucky enough to have financial stability, support from others and spacecan achieve their life-long dreams in the 3rd chapter. Lawrence-Lightfoot emphasizes the need in society to offer more respect and admiration to those who are aging but not yet old. People in the 3rd have more time, expertise and wisdom, to bring great benefits to society, and satisfaction to themselves in a new season of learning and growth.

Ella Minnow Pea

2009-03-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

By Mark Dunn

This is such a fun novel. It is about an island nation off the coast of North Carolina where the citizens highly value the spoken and written word. Unfortunately, they distrust science and technology. They hold the author of "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" Mr Nevill, in a prophet-like, almost God-like regard. So when a letter on the statue in his honor falls to the ground, they have no choice but to banish that letter from their daily lexicon. If the citizens use a word with the offending letter they face serious punishments. As the novel progresses, more and more letters fall from the statue, and therefore out of the novel which is written in letters between people.

This is a really funny and ingenious novel. The townspeople who write the letters have such large vocabularies and when they are challenged and their words are diminished they become even more resourceful.

Flash and Dazzle

2009-03-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

By Ronald Anthony

This book won the reader's choice award in the Salt Lake County Library System.
I really enjoyed it because it appeals to my generation X post-modern schema. Another reason why it is appealing is because there are a lot of novels about friendship relationships between women but rarely novels about male friendships.

Flash and Dazzle are the nicknames of two guys who met in college. Flash is a copywriter, and Dazzle is an artist. They worked together since their freshman year of college and find a jobs together at a hip advertising firm in New York City. They live the ideal young bachelor lifestyle. They have access to the best restaurants, girl friends to go out dancing with, disposable income and high tech games in their apartments. When Flash discovers the illness Daz had been hiding, their relationship based on games, girls and fun deepens. Flash finds out things about his friend that he had never known, and reframes his focus to the things in life that really matter.

The thing that's so cool and post-modern about this novel is that it has a built in soundtrack. It is framed around the CD's of mid-90's pop songs that the characters listening to at different points in the novel. A play list is included in the end note.

Healing the Shame that Binds You

2009-03-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

by John Bradshaw

I read this book because I am going through a Psychology, self-help book and personality test phase. A funny thing about this book is that some of the pop-psychology words in movies and TV come from this book. Phrases like "shame spiral" "inner child" and so forth are common to the vocabulary of our media today.

Bradshaw believes that problems such as addictions, overachieving, and depression, are caused by toxic shame messages that we picked up from adults in our childhood. He points out that not all shame is bad and differentiates between two kinds of shame. "Toxic shame" leads to insecurity, hiding, and neurosis. "Healthy Shame" is similar to humility. We are able to love ourselves in spite of and because of our human weaknesses. We recognize a higher power.

The first half of the book talks about the ways that toxic shame can hurt, and bind us. The second half gives examples of therapeutic exercises to help us move past what hurt us in the past and recover our self-esteem.

Man's Search For Meaning

2009-03-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

By Victor Frankl
A lot of people have recommended this book to me, especially therapists and people who found it inspiring. It helped me discover my point of view.
In the first section of Man's Search for Meaning, Frankl, memoirs his experiences surviving the concentration camps: Auschwitz and Dachau. Victor Frankl, was a psychiatrist who wrote books about healing through finding meaning in life. He was taken to Auschwitz, clutching the manuscript of the book he was writing. It was hidden in the pocket of his jacket which was taken by the prison guards.
How was it that he survived when so many others did not? A big part of it was luck; the guards chose at random who would survive. He survived because he cared for others--he was he was a doctor who could help in the infirmary. He survived because he had a reason to live--he spent his time visualizing his wife, and thinking of the words to the book he was writing. Many of the prisoners became so despondent that they soon got sick and died. Only those who had hope for the future and fought for their lives survived. However, many of the survivors who hoped for the future found that when they returned home, the people that they hoped to see were dead and assimilation back into society was grueling.
In the second section of the book, Victor Frankl talks about his philosophy and his style of therapy called Logotherapy (therapy that centers around finding meaning in life). In difficult and even horrific (in the example of concentration camps) circumstances a person can survive if they can find meaning in the experience. If they die, their death is not senseless but becomes a meaningful martyrdom.
In some ways I disagree with Frankl's philosophy (which makes me feel guilty after all he has been through!) In Frankl's view--existentialism-- it doesn't matter what your life means, you can pick anything. There is no God and no Truth in existentialism, but believing in God is fine as long as it gives your life meaning. Its just like saying that there is nothing wrong with thinking you are Cinderella as long as it makes you happy.
I think existentialism grew out of the turbulence of the early twentieth century. When philosophers saw how people kill each other over totalitarian truth, they began to question if anyone really knows the truth. Maybe truth is variable and morals are relative. Maybe there is no truth at all so pick what makes you feel right (and does the least damage).
This book got me to think about what I believe. I believe there is absolute truth. It can be dangerous to believe in absolute truth because those who believe they have it at the expense of all others are known as fundamentalists, who blow up buildings. I think truth is an all-encompassing sphere. Different peoples have different parts of it. The more of the truth sphere you have seen, the greater good will you have.
Anyway, this book prompted me decide what I believe, so because of this book I wrote a This I Believe Essay, and sent it in to NPR. We'll see how that goes.

My Antonia

2009-03-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

Last week,I read My Antonia, by Willa Cather, for the 3rd time. (the 1st two times were on tape and this time I physically read it) It is the assigned reading for my ward book club next month.

In the book,the narrator, Jim Burden, becomes orphaned and moves to the Nebraska frontier with his grandparents. A Bohemian immigrant family, the Shimerdas, arrive with him on the same train. Jim becomes close friends with their oldest daughter Antonia, who is a few years older than he. He teaches her English and his grandparents bring food and supplies to her family during their difficult first winter.

Antonia is a symbol for the American Frontier. The Immigrant families left wealth and social status in their old countries, but when they first arrive in America they are desperately poor, and ignorant about farming in the foreign soil. The oldest daughters of immigrant families, must sacrifice a great deal for their families to give their younger siblings a better life. Their parents, mired in their old country ways, find it more difficult to adapt.

Antonia and her girl friends work and plow the land themselves, and later move to town and work as maids so they can send the money home to their family farms. The immigrant working girls in town are looked down upon in the community, but Jim admires their courage and passion and watches as they grow up to become successful Americans.

I love this book! The landscape is described so beautifully. Willa Cather paints indelible images of the hardworking fortitude of the pioneer settlers.

The Invisible Man

2009-02-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

By H. G. Wells

The invisible man is s scientist who develops the technology to make his body invisible. In his maniacal mad-scientist thinking , he sees nothing but advantages to being invisible: he can steal and not get caught, he can sneak up on people, he can terrorize an entire village, going in and out of doors and rattling windows. Unfortunately he doesn't consider the drawbacks. For instance, in order to be invisible he has to wander around stark naked. What if it's winter? or raining? What if he leaves footprints in the mud?
Maybe invisibility is a metaphor for deviance from society, criminality, or feelings of alienation and rejection.The Invisible Man is a cautionary tale that science gone wrong, used for criminal means can lead to a person's downfall. After a rampage of murder, theft and violence, the invisible man eventually gets caught. Invisibility becomes, after all, disadvantage rather than an advantage.
The only trouble is, the whole time reading the book, I was thinking: Couldn't the townspeople just throw paint on him? they could catch him easily that way. But they never thought of that.

The Mole People

2009-01-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

By Jennifer Toth

The Mole People was a very interesting book. Raw and frightening and honest. Toth, a New York City reporter and graduate student, studies a population many people wouldn't approach: the homeless who live underground in New York City's subway tunnels. The Mole people live underground for various reasons: drug addiction, mental illness, a feeling of alienation from society, or even personal preferance. People live down there because they are not able to function by the rules of the above-ground society. Some live underground in elaborate societies, with government, caring and functioning social roles. But for most, life underground is dangerous, with crime and lawlessness far more frightening than any big city slum.

Toth showed a great deal of courage to document the lives of such a disenfranchized population. With every trip she took into the tunnels, she risked her very life for the story. Through this effort she put a human face on people in a dehumanizing circumstance.

Eve and the Choice Made in Eden

2009-01-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

By Beverly Campbell

The premise is that much of the oppression of women over the centuries comes from a misunderstanding of Adam's transgression, and especially eve's transgression. In the Garden of Eden, Eve was not tricked by the serpent into the action of partaking of the forbidden fruit thus dooming mankind to misery. She was thinking of humanity's greater good. If she had not partaken of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve would not have been able to have children, the entire population. They would not have been able to progress through trial and sorrow to know good from evil. They would still be in the Garden in an innocent state, and none of us would be here.

There have been studies about the difference in moral reasoning in men verses women. Men reason in terms of rules, laws, right or wrong, but women reason in terms of relationships with others and how a decision affects everyone involved. Adam's reasoning was correct in that he followed the law of God forbidding him to partake of the fruit. But Eve's reasoning favored the posterity of mankind. She broke one law for a higher good--the birth of humanity. Even an existence filled with pain and sorrow is better than a lovely stagnant garden existence.

Understanding the nature of Eve and her Choice Made in Eden can powerfully change the way societies view women. Women can instead be seen as valuable and wise, as opposed to corrupt and easily duped. The value of both men and women increases. Our various gender roles is enlightened. Our need to aid in each other's missions is informed. The belief that one gender is superior at the expense is eradicated.

This book can change your life.

The Stolen Child

2009-01-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

By Keith Donahue

This book is based on the poem "The Stolen Child" by W.B. Yeats, and on the changeling myth from medieval Europe. "Faeries" are not flying cute "fairies" but changelings who play pranks on the village (they are the reason why you lose one sock in every laundry load, or why things go missing).
A seven-year-old boy runs away from home because he is unhappy with his family life.While he is gone, the changelings snatch him and replace him with one of their own, who assumes his appearance and lives his life. The boy is then changed into a faerie who will live as a perpetual child in the wilderness. The worlds of human and changeling are incompatible and should not mix.
The novel explores some questions such as: Which is better, growing up and experiencing difficulties or remaining an unchanging child forever? How much do parents really know about the mind of their own child they care for? Could there be something hidden? Is she really their child? Did the changelings do violence in taking a child away from his life or did they give him second chance?

A Single Voice

2009-01-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

By Kristen M Oaks

Kristen Oaks was single until she was fifty-three years old, when she married the widowed Dallin Oaks. Her life was not what she expected: she didn't expect to get married in her fifties and she didn't expect to marry a general authority. Yet she remained faithful to the Gospel of Jesus Christ regardless of her circumstances.

She wrote this book to advise and inspire the single women of the Church.

Here are some points of the book that I found helpful:

1. It validated the feelings of loneliness, sadness, and longing for a family in a family-oriented church.
2. Remaining single is not an emergency--we don't have to marry someone wrong for ourselves just to be married. We will be ok, and can build a successful life.
3. Singleness isn't a sign that there is something wrong with us, maybe it means we haven't found someone equal to ourselves yet. In our religion, we believe that there will be an opportunity to marry in the next life if not in this life.
4. God might not save us from our trials in life. We may not get all of the things we long for in life. There are many with unresolved problems in life: remaining single, being childless, having a child with severe disabilities and living with a chronic illness are some examples. Though our trials remain, God will not forsake us.
5. People might make insensitive comments because they don't understand why we are single. We need not lose perspective because of well-meaning people who have it wrong, but learn to move on.
6. She gave advice about dating and self-improvement.

The Anatomy of Peace

2009-01-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

By the Arbinger Institute

The Arbinger institute is an organization that gives self-improvement and leadership seminars.

I would recommend The Anatomy of Peace to anyone who wants to overcome conflicts between parent and child, husband and wife, employers and employees, even warring nations.

The story is told at a wilderness program for rebellious teens. After dropping off their children, the parents attend a class where they learn to confront their own problems. The wilderness program is run by two men: a Palestinian and an Israeli. Though their nations are enemies, they have learned to overcome enmity and become good friends with a mission of promoting peace.

The book teaches that peace can only be created within oneself. The only one I ultimately have control over, after all, is myself. Being a peacemaker is not just about passively accepting the cruelty of others. Sometimes it is necessary to go to war, sometimes necessary for parents to get tough. The difference is peace within oneself.

Abraham: A Journey into the Heart of Three Faiths

2009-01-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

By Bruce Feilor

I would heartily recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand the roots of conflict among the three major religions : Islam, Judaism and Christianity. We have so much in common as far as roots and common ancestry and yet so much hatred. Feilor's book explains the manner that the conflict stems from Abraham. He tells of each religion's different mythology about Abraham, and what each story has in common. A knowledge of the sameness and differences, strengths and weaknesses of each religious category could lead us to greater peace and understanding among nations.

Other related books I would recommend:

(From my religion's perspective on Abraham)

The Book of Abraham, in The Pearl of Great Price (Latter-Day Saint Scripture)

The Women of Genesis trilogy by Orson Scott Card

Also:

The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute

The Chosen by Chaim Potok

Anything else you would recommend?

Fat is a Feminist Issue

2008-12-30T13:52:00.000-08:00

By Susie Orbach

I read this book about five years ago but it still frequently comes up in my conversations. Maybe because the words fat and feminist both apply to me.

Fat is a Feminist Issue is a self-help book for over eaters. It doesn't focus on food but on how a woman feels about being fat or thin. Is fat a response to your role in your family, at work and in society? There is an exercise in the book where you visualize yourself at a party being thin. Does being thin makes you feel more at ease? More pressured to be perfect? More exposed and vulnerable? The point is that maybe an overweight woman may feel less motivated to lose weight if the extra pounds are providing protection or the feeling that men want her for reasons other than their body. For whatever benefit you are getting from being fat, find a way to get that benefit regardless of your weight. That way you can lose weight without hindrance.

I think being fat is a result of the intake of more calories than I have expended over a period of time. To lose weight I just need to intake fewer calories than I expend from now on, right? I wish it were that simple, but there definitely is an emotional component to consider. I agree with the book that being fat is about protection. (like from creepy men) Should I wear all black on days when I want to hide out? Should I lift lots of weights and be too tough to appear vulnerable? Should I find a wonderful, loving man to be my bodyguard? Weight loss is not just about shrinking fat cells, but it is about emotions, self-esteem, and social constraints as well.

Blink!

2008-12-29T17:55:00.000-08:00

Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
I really enjoyed this book because the research is interdisciplinary, as the topic applies to every point of view. In Blink!, Gladwell describes how when someone is an expert in their field, they can reach a point where they can know complex information in two seconds, or the blink of an eye. For instance, the marriage counselor who knew by seeing a couple talk, how long their marriage will last, or the food-tasters who can immediately tell the ingredients in a soup. It also talks about times where those who should be experts get the information wrong, such as cops in New York who shot a man, thinking he was pulling a gun, when he was getting out his wallet.

This book changed my way of thinking, making me more aware of my own intuition, and the kind of information I pick up in just a few seconds. I became more aware of when experts are feeling me out. Now I am a little more forgiving of those who seem to make a snap judgement about me. Maybe we all do it. To really be able to get a piece of information from a split second and be correct, takes a lot of time and expertise.

Divine Secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood

2008-12-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

By Rebecca Wells,1996
Would I recommend this book for a book club? Definitely.

This is a novel about a mother and a daughter, friendships and reconciliation with the past. It takes place in Catholic central Louisiana. The daughter has difficulty moving forward in her relationship until she is able to forgive her mother. She discovers truths about herself by learning the truth about her mother in the scrapbook of divine secrets made by the four friends, the ya-yas.

This book reminded me of the importance of the sensual in life, like eating spicy home-cooked food, swimming in a cold lake, laughing with friends, smelling the the scents from the flower garden. I wanted to take in the sights, sounds and scents, that a good life has to offer. So I went and got a massage as a Christmas present to myself. I needed to slow down and feel. But now I'm back to normal again, trying to strike a balance between feeling good and being good. You can go too far either way. In the book piety is taken too far and so the characters favor only the sensual.

Welcome to my blog

2008-12-28T21:04:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the creme-de-la-krem book review. After I graduated from college I made it a goal to read a book every week. As a result, I have read many books, some of which I really liked. I would like to share my findings with you.