Healing the Shame that Binds You

by John Bradshaw

I read this book because I am going through a Psychology, self-help book and personality test phase. A funny thing about this book is that some of the pop-psychology words in movies and TV come from this book. Phrases like "shame spiral" "inner child" and so forth are common to the vocabulary of our media today.

Bradshaw believes that problems such as addictions, overachieving, and depression, are caused by toxic shame messages that we picked up from adults in our childhood. He points out that not all shame is bad and differentiates between two kinds of shame. "Toxic shame" leads to insecurity, hiding, and neurosis. "Healthy Shame" is similar to humility. We are able to love ourselves in spite of and because of our human weaknesses. We recognize a higher power.

The first half of the book talks about the ways that toxic shame can hurt, and bind us. The second half gives examples of therapeutic exercises to help us move past what hurt us in the past and recover our self-esteem.